Introducing C

C first contacted me last summer with an pm on Fetlife. Not really the place I expected to find a submissive, even if I do receive pms from submissives seeking a relationship from time to time, but then life is full of surprises and sometimes they are good ones. He very politely explained that he had had phantasms since his adolescence (he's 32, the same age as Follow) but as he had never encountered someone with whom he could explore them they had so far remained just phantasms and so he had decided that it was time to actively search someone experienced. Which is why he was contacting me as he had seen my profile on a regional bdsm site and found me on Fetlife (I discovered later on that he had scoured this blog as well but he hasn't been back since I told him which ISP he uses and how I know lol). 

I responded with an invitation to tell me more about his phantasms and we continued to exchange messages throughout the following few months (summer holidays and a peak work load meant that it wasn't possible for me to initiate a physical meeting for some time). His phantasms are quite different to Follow's (except for bondage) and I saw the possibility of exploring things that hadn't really been possible with F because F wasn't really into pain (well he was more towards the end than in the beginning but he still didn't get any pleasure out of being flogged more than lightly and I find no pleasure in inflicting pain on someone who doesn't enjoy it).

Exploring new things and initiating a novice are things I enjoy and so without any expectations as to where this would go, invited C to my place at the beginning of November with the reassurance that he would live to tell the tale. 

He was very nervous when he arrived "armed" with a box of (absolutely delicious, no, scrumptious would be a better word) chocolates. We had a drink and chatted a bit before I had him strip off his clothes, collared him, and then lead him upstairs to my bedroom where I have all my instruments and a four-poster bed which serves as a good replacement for a St Andrew's cross. There I tied him between the posts and we started our exploration of the real extent of his masochism. Nipple clamps, flogging, whipping, he soaked it all in and had a hard-on most of the time. After-care consisted of more chatting and another drink before sending him home. It wasn't easy to tell what was going on inside him but C had no problems expressing that by email the next day when things had had time to settle a little. The resulting email described the sensations and emotions he had experienced, the effect they (and the marks on his body) continued to have on him throughout the following day and expressed the desire to be allowed to come and kneel at my feet again.

And so began an interesting exploration of which I will talk more about in the following days and, I hope, months.

The Novice Submissive, the Virtual Domme and the Tangible Teacher

During the weeks following our first in-person encounter, G, as I will refer to him for the moment, came to my home as often as our respective plannings allowed. On these occasions I had him do housework and give me foot massages; used him to practice bondage on or as a foot stool; introduced him to things like clothes-pins on his nipples – which brought a tear to his eyes – and over the knee bare hand spanking which he took to straight away. As he wasn't my submissive, the most intimate thing I allowed him was to lick my feet and suck my toes. Although I will admit that I couldn't resist fondling his body whenever I got a chance to – grin.

Because of his shyness, e-mails and conversations on msn served as valuable tools for getting him to express his thoughts and feelings on his submission and his experiences during our in-person encounters.

His biggest fears initially were of failing to do things properly and not being good enough. These I was able calm easily because for me motivation is the most important part and so if something wasn't executed to my liking I would explain calmly what was wrong and how I expected it to be done.

A question that came up at the beginning was whether he should consider me as his Mistress or not. As I believe that a submissive can only have one Mistress it was decided that he should consider me as his teacher. This dynamic served to maintain a certain distance between us and contributed to him feeling that he could ask me questions that he didn't think he could ask his Domme.

Obviously I was also regularly in contact with his Domme, keeping her informed of his progress, sending her the occasional photo and discussing further training for him – although she seemed more concerned with him learning to do housework than anything else.

After a very promising start I rapidly began to see problems appearing on the horizon. G started asking me if he should continue certain things that his Domme had told him to do, such as wear stockings and use a dildo on himself. I'm not into cross-dressing and I don't see the point of a sub giving himself pleasure but told him to obey her if that's what she ordered. At the same time he seemed to very confused about whether he should now consider his cock or his ass as being his sexual organ. Some questioning revealed that he'd been told that he would be required to have passive sex with other men. I asked him that was something that appealed to him in some way and his response was: “No, but I'm ready to accept if She desires it”. When I asked her about it she replied that it was to test his motivation so I advised G to wait until he had met her before consenting to anything like that and also to think very carefully about what he might be letting himself in for.

This, and some other things that I won't go into here, was for me a sign that there were major incompatibilities between her style and mine and that we wouldn't be able to continue for very long before it became a problem. I knew I wouldn't be able to just sit back and watch her turn him into something he didn't really want to become and that if he were to continue with her I would have to retire from the picture. But I felt I had to stay in the scene a while longer otherwise I would have been abandoning him. I think that if I hadn't agreed to participate he would have got fed up with the situation and already put and end to it. As it was, he was expressing more and more his appreciation of being able to explore his submission and serve.

I encouraged them both to arrange to meet each other as soon as possible so that he could make an informed choice. To no avail. The weeks slipped past and there was always something preventing her from either coming to our city or receiving him.

Nearly 2 months had gone past when G asked me if I would be angry with him if he decided to not pursue things further with his supposed Domme. I told him that on the contrary I would be relieved if he did and why; something I hadn't done before because I felt it was necessary for him to draw his own conclusions.

A few days later he submerged me with text messages explaining why he had finally decided to put an end to a virtual relationship with a person he was now convinced was manipulator and venal. The question now was whether I was willing to continue his education or not and if so under what conditions.