Introducing C

C first contacted me last summer with an pm on Fetlife. Not really the place I expected to find a submissive, even if I do receive pms from submissives seeking a relationship from time to time, but then life is full of surprises and sometimes they are good ones. He very politely explained that he had had phantasms since his adolescence (he's 32, the same age as Follow) but as he had never encountered someone with whom he could explore them they had so far remained just phantasms and so he had decided that it was time to actively search someone experienced. Which is why he was contacting me as he had seen my profile on a regional bdsm site and found me on Fetlife (I discovered later on that he had scoured this blog as well but he hasn't been back since I told him which ISP he uses and how I know lol). 

I responded with an invitation to tell me more about his phantasms and we continued to exchange messages throughout the following few months (summer holidays and a peak work load meant that it wasn't possible for me to initiate a physical meeting for some time). His phantasms are quite different to Follow's (except for bondage) and I saw the possibility of exploring things that hadn't really been possible with F because F wasn't really into pain (well he was more towards the end than in the beginning but he still didn't get any pleasure out of being flogged more than lightly and I find no pleasure in inflicting pain on someone who doesn't enjoy it).

Exploring new things and initiating a novice are things I enjoy and so without any expectations as to where this would go, invited C to my place at the beginning of November with the reassurance that he would live to tell the tale. 

He was very nervous when he arrived "armed" with a box of (absolutely delicious, no, scrumptious would be a better word) chocolates. We had a drink and chatted a bit before I had him strip off his clothes, collared him, and then lead him upstairs to my bedroom where I have all my instruments and a four-poster bed which serves as a good replacement for a St Andrew's cross. There I tied him between the posts and we started our exploration of the real extent of his masochism. Nipple clamps, flogging, whipping, he soaked it all in and had a hard-on most of the time. After-care consisted of more chatting and another drink before sending him home. It wasn't easy to tell what was going on inside him but C had no problems expressing that by email the next day when things had had time to settle a little. The resulting email described the sensations and emotions he had experienced, the effect they (and the marks on his body) continued to have on him throughout the following day and expressed the desire to be allowed to come and kneel at my feet again.

And so began an interesting exploration of which I will talk more about in the following days and, I hope, months.

So I'm back

As Google has had second thoughts on what would have boiled down to closing down any blogs containing "sexually explicit or graphic nude images or video" I can go ahead with my plan of reviving this blog. Although reviving isn't really the correct term as the blog has continued to receive visitors regularly in spite of no new posts since 2011. No, it's more an intention to start blogging again.

And so...

As to be expected a lot of things have happened in the past three and a half years. I moved twice which meant that at one point Follow was a 5-hour train trip away. But that didn't stop him and we spent many weekends together during the 2 years I lived there. Sadly my next move, while at last meaning that we were living close enough to spend more time together and move forward in our relationship, arrived at a time when his personal and professional problems increased significantly and he went into depressive bouts which seriously affected our relationship.

Finally after 18 months of long periods of silence followed by long discussions online and very little time actually spent together it all came to an end last month. Follow had often said that there was something very strong that kept us together in spite of all the difficulties but even a strong chain will weaken if it gets chipped at over a long period of time and that's what had happened. I felt a lot of sadness when I decided that there was no point in continuing in the hope of things turning around when the same pattern kept on repeating itself. But at the same time I knew that what I was really mourning were simply the plans we had made together and which had no chance of becoming a reality unless he was able to put a distance between our relationship and his job and other obligations, which is something he isn't capable of doing, at least not now.

What remains is a lot of happy memories of time spent together which involved a lot of worshiping, bondage, fisting, torture and simply cuddling on the sofa while we watched a DVD.  I sincerely hope he gets his life together and finds peace and happiness.

During the past 18 months I have also been meeting new prospective submissives as, as I have already mentioned, the objective was always to have 2 or 3 (although I am realizing that time-wise this isn't such an easy thing to pull off, at least not at the moment).   As usual there have been a lot of time-wasting wannabe's who when it's time to move into reality come up with an excuse as to why they can't present themselves as arranged.

Then there were others who simply weren't a match. Being into the same activities isn't enough. If I'm going to "play" with a body I have to find it attractive and there are also times when it's nice to have a conversation, even if the sub is kneeling naked at my feet.

There is also the question of attitude; I expect the same attitude of respect and attentiveness to my needs at all times including when out socializing. On one occasion I took part in a bondage picnic and the sub accompanying me wandered around leisurely as though he were there on his own. I have no patience for people like that, they're only interested in getting their particular kinky needs met.

Happily a good match appeared through an unexpected venue: Fetlife.

But I'll tell you all about that in my next post.

Two White Roses and a Shy Smiling Face Looking Down at Me...

were the first things I saw on opening the door on the appointed date and time. I invited him in, thanked him for the roses and then led him into the living room.

I rarely have a sub strip off his clothes straight away on the first visit but I decided to do so this time. I placed a rug on the floor where he was to kneel once he was undressed and then sat on the sofa to enjoy the show. He was quick to obey in spite of his apparent embarrassment and the removed clothing revealed a totally hairless (shaved) body that was visually pleasing to me. The best description I can find is “slightly padded”, not fat but not skinny either; a body that is fun to play with, especially with floggers and other impact toys.

Rather than have him do housework I had him take care of a pair of my leather boots which were in need of a good cleaning. The result was lovely, I'd never seen them shine like that before, but not really surprising as his profession is connected to military.

Then I instructed him to make me a cup of tea and here he surprised me by kneeling down before me to present the cup to me without me having tell him to do so.

Now that he was visibly a bit more at ease with finding himself naked in front of a woman he'd never met before, I had him kneel before me on the rug again and asked him questions about his desire to serve and submit whilst sipping my tea. The main impression I got throughout the conversation was of a polite, soft-spoken, sincere and motivated sub. Albeit a shy and nervous one.

My tea finished I decided to move on to one of my favourite activities: bondage. This, as every thing else was, was totally new to him so I kept it fairly light and after asking him if he was ok with me taking some photos I slipped a spandex hood on him and started shooting.

Then I grabbed my floggers and gave him a small taste of very light flogging but saw that he was less at ease with this. So I had him give me a foot massage which he performed very well.

I only kept him for about an hour and a half before releasing him as I had other things on my agenda, one of which was to inform his Mistress that she had found herself a very promising submissive.