Decisions and Evolutions

So now I had to decide whether to continue as G's teacher, adopt him as my novice slave or simply end our relationship. I opted for the first solution. I enjoy his presence; as well as being physically attractive he has a pleasant, respectful and graceful character and I've never had the impression that he was expecting anything in return for his service. I couldn't see it lasting very long as for me his age and profession represented obstacles to the 24/7 relationship I'm looking to create. But I could see no reason for not continuing to just enjoy the relationship as it was and besides, I felt he needed someone to keep an eye on him and guide him to prevent him getting himself into trouble.

The first thing that needed doing was to get him to clear all the shit that had been put into his head concerning D/s relationships and then have him express his desires and inclinations. Because as far as I'm concerned it isn't All about what I want and need. That sort of thinking is great in fantasy tales but not in a real relationship. That done we were ready to continue our mutual exploration on healthier terms.

But very quickly he started to express just how deep his feelings for me were and his desire to become my slave “for at least 20 years”. To start with I tried to remain detached just as I had before when he had told me I was beautiful (after receiving him at 7:30 a.m. in my pj's!) and even teased him about my probable capabilities of swinging a flogger at 71. However there is a limit to the number of times I can hear someone as attractive as he is say to me: “You're beautiful” and “Madame, je vous aime” before I capitulate. To cut things short I started to fall in love with him, both as a slave and a man, and still am in love with him.

It hasn't all been plain sailing; there have been breathtakingly beautiful moments but also very painful periods filled with doubt and anger. But I don't regret one minute of it. Taking a step back and looking at all that has passed so far, I can see how getting certain buttons pushed by some of the events has helped me grow personally and that in itself is priceless.

From here onwards I will be writing about certain past events without any concerns about chronology as well as of other aspects of our relationship, my encounters with other submissive males (because it is my intention to have 3) and other related musings.