Rope Play

Yesterday morning I tried out an idea I've been mulling over in my head for some time. I started out with a variant of the head cage for which you can find a video showing how to tie it on the Two Knotty Boys website.

I've already tied the head cage and brought the remaining rope back up and out through the knot on the crown of the head before attaching it to a hook on the ceiling over my bed. This time I wanted to use the remaining rope to simply continue the bondage on my slave's body. So once the head cage tied, I let the remaining rope run down his back and tied another knot just below his collar then brought the two lengths over his shoulders, tied another knot and continued round to the back again where I tied yet another knot and then ran the rope up to the knot just below his collar and down again, tightening it to lift his head up.

The rest I think can be figured out by looking at the photos.

The problem I have with long lengths of rope is that it makes it harder to tie fancy knots, something I can about manage laying the rope flat on a table but not when working on a body.

But where I really need to make progress is keeping everything symmetric and tight enough, especially with nylon rope.

The batteries in my camera were on their last legs and so I wasn't able to take new photos once I'd readjusted the rope for symmetry.

I think a black Spandex male version of a cat suit would be a good idea for the next time I play with white rope :)

Decisions and Evolutions

So now I had to decide whether to continue as G's teacher, adopt him as my novice slave or simply end our relationship. I opted for the first solution. I enjoy his presence; as well as being physically attractive he has a pleasant, respectful and graceful character and I've never had the impression that he was expecting anything in return for his service. I couldn't see it lasting very long as for me his age and profession represented obstacles to the 24/7 relationship I'm looking to create. But I could see no reason for not continuing to just enjoy the relationship as it was and besides, I felt he needed someone to keep an eye on him and guide him to prevent him getting himself into trouble.

The first thing that needed doing was to get him to clear all the shit that had been put into his head concerning D/s relationships and then have him express his desires and inclinations. Because as far as I'm concerned it isn't All about what I want and need. That sort of thinking is great in fantasy tales but not in a real relationship. That done we were ready to continue our mutual exploration on healthier terms.

But very quickly he started to express just how deep his feelings for me were and his desire to become my slave “for at least 20 years”. To start with I tried to remain detached just as I had before when he had told me I was beautiful (after receiving him at 7:30 a.m. in my pj's!) and even teased him about my probable capabilities of swinging a flogger at 71. However there is a limit to the number of times I can hear someone as attractive as he is say to me: “You're beautiful” and “Madame, je vous aime” before I capitulate. To cut things short I started to fall in love with him, both as a slave and a man, and still am in love with him.

It hasn't all been plain sailing; there have been breathtakingly beautiful moments but also very painful periods filled with doubt and anger. But I don't regret one minute of it. Taking a step back and looking at all that has passed so far, I can see how getting certain buttons pushed by some of the events has helped me grow personally and that in itself is priceless.

From here onwards I will be writing about certain past events without any concerns about chronology as well as of other aspects of our relationship, my encounters with other submissive males (because it is my intention to have 3) and other related musings.

The Novice Submissive, the Virtual Domme and the Tangible Teacher

During the weeks following our first in-person encounter, G, as I will refer to him for the moment, came to my home as often as our respective plannings allowed. On these occasions I had him do housework and give me foot massages; used him to practice bondage on or as a foot stool; introduced him to things like clothes-pins on his nipples – which brought a tear to his eyes – and over the knee bare hand spanking which he took to straight away. As he wasn't my submissive, the most intimate thing I allowed him was to lick my feet and suck my toes. Although I will admit that I couldn't resist fondling his body whenever I got a chance to – grin.

Because of his shyness, e-mails and conversations on msn served as valuable tools for getting him to express his thoughts and feelings on his submission and his experiences during our in-person encounters.

His biggest fears initially were of failing to do things properly and not being good enough. These I was able calm easily because for me motivation is the most important part and so if something wasn't executed to my liking I would explain calmly what was wrong and how I expected it to be done.

A question that came up at the beginning was whether he should consider me as his Mistress or not. As I believe that a submissive can only have one Mistress it was decided that he should consider me as his teacher. This dynamic served to maintain a certain distance between us and contributed to him feeling that he could ask me questions that he didn't think he could ask his Domme.

Obviously I was also regularly in contact with his Domme, keeping her informed of his progress, sending her the occasional photo and discussing further training for him – although she seemed more concerned with him learning to do housework than anything else.

After a very promising start I rapidly began to see problems appearing on the horizon. G started asking me if he should continue certain things that his Domme had told him to do, such as wear stockings and use a dildo on himself. I'm not into cross-dressing and I don't see the point of a sub giving himself pleasure but told him to obey her if that's what she ordered. At the same time he seemed to very confused about whether he should now consider his cock or his ass as being his sexual organ. Some questioning revealed that he'd been told that he would be required to have passive sex with other men. I asked him that was something that appealed to him in some way and his response was: “No, but I'm ready to accept if She desires it”. When I asked her about it she replied that it was to test his motivation so I advised G to wait until he had met her before consenting to anything like that and also to think very carefully about what he might be letting himself in for.

This, and some other things that I won't go into here, was for me a sign that there were major incompatibilities between her style and mine and that we wouldn't be able to continue for very long before it became a problem. I knew I wouldn't be able to just sit back and watch her turn him into something he didn't really want to become and that if he were to continue with her I would have to retire from the picture. But I felt I had to stay in the scene a while longer otherwise I would have been abandoning him. I think that if I hadn't agreed to participate he would have got fed up with the situation and already put and end to it. As it was, he was expressing more and more his appreciation of being able to explore his submission and serve.

I encouraged them both to arrange to meet each other as soon as possible so that he could make an informed choice. To no avail. The weeks slipped past and there was always something preventing her from either coming to our city or receiving him.

Nearly 2 months had gone past when G asked me if I would be angry with him if he decided to not pursue things further with his supposed Domme. I told him that on the contrary I would be relieved if he did and why; something I hadn't done before because I felt it was necessary for him to draw his own conclusions.

A few days later he submerged me with text messages explaining why he had finally decided to put an end to a virtual relationship with a person he was now convinced was manipulator and venal. The question now was whether I was willing to continue his education or not and if so under what conditions.

Two White Roses and a Shy Smiling Face Looking Down at Me...

were the first things I saw on opening the door on the appointed date and time. I invited him in, thanked him for the roses and then led him into the living room.

I rarely have a sub strip off his clothes straight away on the first visit but I decided to do so this time. I placed a rug on the floor where he was to kneel once he was undressed and then sat on the sofa to enjoy the show. He was quick to obey in spite of his apparent embarrassment and the removed clothing revealed a totally hairless (shaved) body that was visually pleasing to me. The best description I can find is “slightly padded”, not fat but not skinny either; a body that is fun to play with, especially with floggers and other impact toys.

Rather than have him do housework I had him take care of a pair of my leather boots which were in need of a good cleaning. The result was lovely, I'd never seen them shine like that before, but not really surprising as his profession is connected to military.

Then I instructed him to make me a cup of tea and here he surprised me by kneeling down before me to present the cup to me without me having tell him to do so.

Now that he was visibly a bit more at ease with finding himself naked in front of a woman he'd never met before, I had him kneel before me on the rug again and asked him questions about his desire to serve and submit whilst sipping my tea. The main impression I got throughout the conversation was of a polite, soft-spoken, sincere and motivated sub. Albeit a shy and nervous one.

My tea finished I decided to move on to one of my favourite activities: bondage. This, as every thing else was, was totally new to him so I kept it fairly light and after asking him if he was ok with me taking some photos I slipped a spandex hood on him and started shooting.

Then I grabbed my floggers and gave him a small taste of very light flogging but saw that he was less at ease with this. So I had him give me a foot massage which he performed very well.

I only kept him for about an hour and a half before releasing him as I had other things on my agenda, one of which was to inform his Mistress that she had found herself a very promising submissive.

How a Stray Pup Finds his Way to My Front Door

A Domme who I had met on a few occasions and chatted with on msn from time to time approached me in late March to ask me if I would be willing to meet a sub she was interested in for her. She lives several hours away from the city in which I and the sub in question both live in and wanted to make sure that he was genuine before starting to make arrangements to meet him in person. In return, and in the event of course that he was a genuine sub, she proposed to lend him to me whenever I wanted to use him.

I was in a relationship that was in the process of coming to an end for the second time in 6 months and feeling the frustration that comes from not being able to do all that I had lined up for a sub because he was going cold turkey. So the idea of having access to some no-strings-for-me service and a “victim” to practice on was very tempting and we came to the agreement that I would check him out and even start training him for her.

When she gave me his msn id and told me where he lived I realised that I'd turned this sub down a couple of months previously when he'd contacted me on a dating site. For me he was too young, only 28, and his profession incompatible with the relationship I have in mind. But in the context of our arrangement these arguments became non issues. I wasn't planning on using him for more than some house cleaning and to practice bondage on and I didn't expect the arrangement to last very long either, even if he was as sincere as his Domme seemed to think him to be.

A few days later she started up a 3 way chat, gave him his orders (which were to follow mine) and then left us. A rapid webcam session revealed a good looking but shy young man. I answered his questions and reassured him a bit, then, having agreed on a date and time convenient for both of us for him to present himself and serve me for a couple of hours, said goodnight.

Introduction

The purpose of this blog is to share my story, my ideas and my opinions on FemDom. These are obviously a reflection of how I choose to express my dominance and my viewpoint, nothing more, nothing less. So unless you are a submissive male hoping to get to serve me*, you don't have to agree with me. In fact I'm always interested to hear different viewpoints as long as they're not presented to me as the ONLY valid one.

So who am I and what am I about?

I have to admit that this is not a question that is easy to answer when you've got the same feeling you get when leaving a message on an answering machine (yuck!). So I'm just going to have some fun with this and do a "pèle-mèle" portrait of my self.

I sometimes feel like the Domme in the picture on the left

(and although divorced, I have found myself in similar situations with my children).

Ideally I would like to look something like this:

But in reality this is what I look like:

(my slave says I'm "maginifique!!!", a lovely typo for those who understand some French, and no that isn't him on the photo)

For me being the dominant partner is all about:

Growth (his and mine), Responsibility, Respect, Creativity, Educational skills, Self-Mastery, Empathy... and a lot of fun.


I don't share the opinion of those who think that women are superior to men and should run the world. In fact I'm more inclined to agree with a recently read tweet :

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

I personally don't feel superior to anyone, or inferior for that matter and I'm not looking for inferiority, I'm looking for complementarity.

Experience

An observer all my life
10 years of active kink
5 years as a Domme
8 months and still going strong as the owner of a slave who is surpassing my dreams.

Goals

My main goal at this moment is to carry on educating my slave the best I can whilst putting in place the means for us to live our relationship the way we both desire to: to the full. Neither of us are looking for a OWK style relationship but we do want to have the privacy and leisure to live on our own terms which are of course My terms.

Misc.

Most of the people I socialize with are into different flavours of BDSM.

Tomorrow I will start telling the story of how a sub who seemed the least suitable choice for me is turning out to be one of the best things that have happened in my life.

*Note to submissive males: If you stick around a little while you will see that I am not currently looking for another sub. This will change in the future but will take place through a different channel so please realise that any solicitations via this blog will be ignored - thanks.