C's Phantasms

Here are the phantasms C shared with me when I invited him to do so:

- To be dominated and to serve a gloved lady, dressed in a corset (your suits you marvelously on the photo),  a skirt (leather or latex), black stockings and high-heeled shoes.
- Kiss shoes and stocking-sheathed legs up to the knees.
- Wear a hood (but retain sight)
- Be tightly bound
- Wear an arm-binder or straitjacket
- Nipple clamps
- Undergo whip / cane / crop on buttocks and make me wear a gag if I moan.

We have already explored most of these although sometimes a little improvisation has been necessary. For instance neither he nor I have a straitjacket but I was able to tie his arms in the position they would be in if he were in a straitjacket. 

We have also played with cling-film and I introduced him to wax play after pushing his boundary on blindfolds. He has also been caned on several occasions (and he loves it).

Another phantasm he mentioned during our conversations is to be firmly tied on a bed, face down, and to be whipped with nettles. I'm waiting for the nettles to put forth nice young potent stems and leaves :-)

One thing that he never mentioned was the control of his sexuality. I have recently started to work on that side of things and he seems to be appreciating having to ask for permission to masturbate and being denied sometimes. The most recent activity added involves him masturbating while kneeling in front of me. I thought his shyness would hamper his progress but he was so worked up after being denied, flogged and whipped that it wasn't. Another addition is teaching him how to worship my pussy with his tongue.

He's definitely a pain slut and his fetishism for my feet isn't at all affected by any sexual release he may have just had so all I need to do is tell him to kiss my feet to maintain his submissiveness :-)

Interesting times are ahead.

My New Rope

Back in 2011 I wrote about a bondage session using white nylon rope and following examples found on the Two Knotty Boys website. The Two Knotty Boys' videos continue to be a source of inspiration and instruction for me in spite of there not being any additions for a long time. I had noticed that they used very thick rope in a lot of the videos and as they indicate the lengths and thickness of the rope used at the end of the videos in question I started to search for some.

Local DIY shops didn't have anything nearly as thick as what I was looking for and it was finally on Amazon.com that I found what looked like it was what I wanted. However because of the cost of shipping to France and customs I was a bit reluctant to invest a considerable amount of money in something that might finally not be what I needed (or should I say desire).

It was only in January this year whilst ordering another (non bdsm related) item on Amazon that I found the rope still in my shopping basket (clever Amazon). A bit of research showed me that the price of the 2 items on the French Amazon site (where the rope was now being sold as well) was significantly more than on Amazon.com. Partly because there was a special deal on the 1st item but mainly because the sellers on Amazon.fr are (in my opinion) too greedy. To cut a long story short the 2 items on Amazon.com cost less than the price of just the rope on Amazon.fr in spite of shipping and customs so I decided that I would go for the rope.

And I am so happy I did!

A length of my new rope

It's very thick, heavy, and soft: A real pleasure to handle (and apparently being tied up with it is equally pleasurable). A great choice for rope-play.

I love the chunkiness of the knots produced with it - I think they're better suited to a bondage on a submissive male.

Another positive point is that it has a safe working load of 300 lbs which is more than enough for suspensions (I just need some solid beams to be able to do that).














And the cherry on the icing is that C bought himself a black spandex body suit.












The caveat is that normally to stop the ends from fraying you should burn them but that makes them hard and scratchy which is not a very pleasant sensation. But I have dipped mine in candle wax (I used the wax from a tea-light which seems to be softer than normal candle wax and therefore less brittle and likely to crumble with use) to prevent the fraying.

I'll see how long that lasts but in the mean time it's much softer on the skin and easier to pull through existing knots without snagging and it doesn't take long to do.

Introducing C

C first contacted me last summer with an pm on Fetlife. Not really the place I expected to find a submissive, even if I do receive pms from submissives seeking a relationship from time to time, but then life is full of surprises and sometimes they are good ones. He very politely explained that he had had phantasms since his adolescence (he's 32, the same age as Follow) but as he had never encountered someone with whom he could explore them they had so far remained just phantasms and so he had decided that it was time to actively search someone experienced. Which is why he was contacting me as he had seen my profile on a regional bdsm site and found me on Fetlife (I discovered later on that he had scoured this blog as well but he hasn't been back since I told him which ISP he uses and how I know lol). 

I responded with an invitation to tell me more about his phantasms and we continued to exchange messages throughout the following few months (summer holidays and a peak work load meant that it wasn't possible for me to initiate a physical meeting for some time). His phantasms are quite different to Follow's (except for bondage) and I saw the possibility of exploring things that hadn't really been possible with F because F wasn't really into pain (well he was more towards the end than in the beginning but he still didn't get any pleasure out of being flogged more than lightly and I find no pleasure in inflicting pain on someone who doesn't enjoy it).

Exploring new things and initiating a novice are things I enjoy and so without any expectations as to where this would go, invited C to my place at the beginning of November with the reassurance that he would live to tell the tale. 

He was very nervous when he arrived "armed" with a box of (absolutely delicious, no, scrumptious would be a better word) chocolates. We had a drink and chatted a bit before I had him strip off his clothes, collared him, and then lead him upstairs to my bedroom where I have all my instruments and a four-poster bed which serves as a good replacement for a St Andrew's cross. There I tied him between the posts and we started our exploration of the real extent of his masochism. Nipple clamps, flogging, whipping, he soaked it all in and had a hard-on most of the time. After-care consisted of more chatting and another drink before sending him home. It wasn't easy to tell what was going on inside him but C had no problems expressing that by email the next day when things had had time to settle a little. The resulting email described the sensations and emotions he had experienced, the effect they (and the marks on his body) continued to have on him throughout the following day and expressed the desire to be allowed to come and kneel at my feet again.

And so began an interesting exploration of which I will talk more about in the following days and, I hope, months.

So I'm back

As Google has had second thoughts on what would have boiled down to closing down any blogs containing "sexually explicit or graphic nude images or video" I can go ahead with my plan of reviving this blog. Although reviving isn't really the correct term as the blog has continued to receive visitors regularly in spite of no new posts since 2011. No, it's more an intention to start blogging again.

And so...

As to be expected a lot of things have happened in the past three and a half years. I moved twice which meant that at one point Follow was a 5-hour train trip away. But that didn't stop him and we spent many weekends together during the 2 years I lived there. Sadly my next move, while at last meaning that we were living close enough to spend more time together and move forward in our relationship, arrived at a time when his personal and professional problems increased significantly and he went into depressive bouts which seriously affected our relationship.

Finally after 18 months of long periods of silence followed by long discussions online and very little time actually spent together it all came to an end last month. Follow had often said that there was something very strong that kept us together in spite of all the difficulties but even a strong chain will weaken if it gets chipped at over a long period of time and that's what had happened. I felt a lot of sadness when I decided that there was no point in continuing in the hope of things turning around when the same pattern kept on repeating itself. But at the same time I knew that what I was really mourning were simply the plans we had made together and which had no chance of becoming a reality unless he was able to put a distance between our relationship and his job and other obligations, which is something he isn't capable of doing, at least not now.

What remains is a lot of happy memories of time spent together which involved a lot of worshiping, bondage, fisting, torture and simply cuddling on the sofa while we watched a DVD.  I sincerely hope he gets his life together and finds peace and happiness.

During the past 18 months I have also been meeting new prospective submissives as, as I have already mentioned, the objective was always to have 2 or 3 (although I am realizing that time-wise this isn't such an easy thing to pull off, at least not at the moment).   As usual there have been a lot of time-wasting wannabe's who when it's time to move into reality come up with an excuse as to why they can't present themselves as arranged.

Then there were others who simply weren't a match. Being into the same activities isn't enough. If I'm going to "play" with a body I have to find it attractive and there are also times when it's nice to have a conversation, even if the sub is kneeling naked at my feet.

There is also the question of attitude; I expect the same attitude of respect and attentiveness to my needs at all times including when out socializing. On one occasion I took part in a bondage picnic and the sub accompanying me wandered around leisurely as though he were there on his own. I have no patience for people like that, they're only interested in getting their particular kinky needs met.

Happily a good match appeared through an unexpected venue: Fetlife.

But I'll tell you all about that in my next post.